CSW57 Update: Reflections and Agreed Conclusions

(Written Friday 15th March 2013)

As I sit here in the dark (we've just had a power cut) reflecting over the last few weeks and the previous four months of preparation, I am filled with an overwhelming sense of pride at what we have achieved.

Personally, I wasn't sure how I was going to cope with spending a whole 10 days talking about violence against women and girls. I was nervous and worried that I wouldn't know anything, that my confidence would leave me and I would spend the whole time panicking that no-one would listen to me. In reality, I don't think I have ever felt more confident and empowered to speak out, not just for myself but for the rights of millions of girls and young women all over the world.

As a delegation, I feel we showed that it doesn't matter who you are or where you come from – if you pull together and work as a team then anything can happen. I have made some amazing friends in countries I'd barely even heard of, and I know that they will all take their experiences of CSW back to those countries where they will grow to become more incredible than they already are.

This evening marks the final day of CSW57. I have spent the day glued to Twitter and my emails, nervously waiting the outcome of the conference. After hours and hours of hitting refresh, I finally heard that the CSW Agreed Conclusions have been adopted!

Being able to share that moment straight away with my new friends in so many different time zones around the world was the most amazing feeling. After weeks of hard work, we can all say that we played a part in changing the lives of girls and young women all over the world.

You're probably wondering what this actually means – I'm getting excited over some global politics that probably won't actually make a difference on the ground, right?

Wrong. Over 130 UN member states have agreed to adopt the conclusions, which means that they should adhere to what the final document says. For example, if the document says legislation should be in place to tackle x, y and z, then member states should develop that legislation. If it says education should be provided, each country should work to deliver that education. And we, as members of civil society, should be holding our country to account and making sure that governments and officials are doing what they have agreed to do at the highest level.

And even if our governments don't do what they've said they will do, that doesn't mean we should let that stop us from doing what we all know is right. We can still encourage people to stop seeing VAWG as a taboo issue and to start talking about it – as soon as we realise that it's ok to talk about violence we will have started to make a difference.

I hope that, if you have learnt nothing from my blogs, you will at least take this away with you. We all have the right to have our voice heard. If we do not speak up, we do not exercise that right and so we do not have the right to complain. If we can speak up for others who cannot speak up for themselves, then we should do so. This doesn't need to be on a global scale. I'm not saying everyone should descend on the UN every year – for a start, I don't think Manhattan needs any more people.

I'm just saying that, in my opinion, if everyone speaks to one person about violence against women and girls, then one day people will begin to realise that it does happen in our own countries; it does happen to us; and ultimately, it's ok to talk about it. If more people start to talk about it, more people will start to realise that violence against women and girls shouldn't be normal, and it isn't ok. Maybe this is the first step to fully eradicating it. I hope so anyway.

I am reminded of that story we heard at the Teen Orientation day, all those weeks ago (has it really only been 12 days?):

"A dove and a coal mouse are sitting on the branch of a tree, watching the snow fall. The dove asks, “How much does a snowflake weigh?” The coal mouse answers, “Nothing more than nothing.” The two birds watch the snowflakes fall for some time more, until the moment a particular one settles on their branch, breaking their perch. As the dove flies away, it thinks to itself, “Maybe all that’s needed in the world for peace is one more voice.”"

CSW57 Update: Statistics

CSW57 Roundup

(Or: how my brain just about nearly exploded)

Over the last six months, I've done a lot of reading and research into Violence Against Women and Girls in the UK and overseas.  Before I got involved in the Stop the Violence campaign, I knew that Violence Against Women and Girls existed, but I would never have known where to even start thinking about the scale of the issue.  This is where I'm hoping I can help you.

Throughout my blog updates, I've tried not to overload you with numbers, statistics and case studies - my whole experience at the UN was completely overwhelming even before we start looking at all the information we were bombarded with on a daily basis.

However, one huge thing I have learnt from this experience is that people don't, and often won't, talk about Violence Against Women and Girls.  This is something I want to change.  I know it's completely overwhelming when you start to think about it, but if we support each other, I know we can do this.

It's really easy to get stats-blindness, for a number to become just that - just a number.  But it's for that reason that I think the statistics are a great place to start.

(Hopefully you've kept reading this far and my numbers-chat hasn't completely turned you off.  If you're still here, thank you for reading.  Please read a little bit further.)

Over the last few weeks, there are some examples that have really stuck with me, which I would like to share with you. 

• Globally, 1 in 3 women and girls will experience some form of violence during their lifetime.
• More than 603 million women and girls live in countries where domestic violence is not a crime (that's nearly 1 in 5).
• In the USA every year, more than 80% 12 - 16 year old girls are sexually harassed or raped in or on their way to school, while in South Africa, 1 in 3 rapes of girls are perpetuated by a teacher.
• In the EU, 80% cases of violence against women will not be reported.
• The annual cost of dealing with violence against women in the EU is over 34 billion euros.
• Every day in the UK, 5 girls and young women are forced into marriage.
• In Nepal, more than 63% girls are married before they are 18 years old.  7% girls will be married before they are 10 years old.  If her husband dies, the girl belongs to her husband's family.  She is forced to wear white and is prohibited from attending festivals or family gatherings.  She will be given to her husband's brother, who can do whatever he wants with her.  
• More than 40% widows are married before they are 18 years old.  Most of these marriages are not registered because the girl is underage.  When she becomes a widow, she will not be eligible to receive any benefits or support because her marriage is not registered.
• 40-50% women in the EU experience some form of abuse in the workplace.
• Many refuges in the UK can't take women and girls associated with gangs because of the risk to the refuge - they do not have bullet-proof glass and women are often "planted" in refuges by gangs to try and find victims.

I'd say this is a problem. 

So what?  What can we do with this information?  There are lots of big, complicated things you could try - writing to your local MP; volunteering with a women's support group; going to the UN is pretty huge...  

Or there are smaller, simpler things; things we often forget can still make a difference.

What am I going to do?  I want to make it ok to talk about violence against women and girls, so I'm going to talk about it and I'm going to encourage other people to talk about it. 

So, if you've read this far, thank you.  Now here's your challenge.  Go and tell someone your thoughts about Violence Against Women and Girls.  Share the numbers.  Find some new numbers.  Blog about it, tweet about it, tell someone over a cup of coffee or lunch.    Let's start a conversation.

And check out WAGGGS' Stop the Violence Campaign. 

CSW57 Update: STOP The Tide

Tuesday 5th March 2013

(Or: how I got very angry at the EU)

This morning started bright and early as I got up, put on my green (for girls) tights, a skirt and my "Stop the Violence" kit, and headed to Starbucks for a last-minute run-through of the speech I was to be giving this morning.  

After a super-large cup of tea and the biggest slice of cinnamon bread I have EVER seen I headed across to the UN Church Center.  The butterflies were flapping away on overtime (blame the cake!) and I think I went to the toilet at least three times within the space of half an hour (sorry - toilet chat), but eventually it was 10.30am.  The room was full of people - not just in seats, but standing at the back and sitting on the floor as well!

This was a joint parallel event run by WAGGGS and Soroptimists International called “STOP The Tide: Tackling Adolescent Dating Violence”.  We started with a presentation by a lady from the US Government about her work tackling Trafficking, which was really interesting but I'm not sure I heard much of as I tried to ignore the butterflies, the number of people in the room, and the fact that I'd put my tights on backwards (don't ask!)

All too quickly, I heard my introduction - Fiona, one of WAGGGS' Youth Delegation Coordinators, was chairing the panel - and so I stood up and walked over to the microphone.  It wasn't until I got there that I realised I wasn't wearing my shoes.  Oh well, no turning back now.

Karaoke, UN-Style

As I started to speak, I realised the room had gone quiet.  As had the butterflies.  After a couple of seconds, the nerves had disappeared and I was starting to enjoy myself.  I knew what I was talking about and I recognised at least 10 of the people in the audience from the previous night's NGO reception.  I was aware of the reactions I was getting, particularly to a very un-childproof extract from 50 Shades of Grey, and they were exactly as I was expecting.  *phew*
 
I spoke about the issue of teen dating violence from a UK perspective, focussing on sexting and the impact of the media, particularly films, on creating stereotypes. I also spoke about why non-formal education is key to empowering girls and young women, giving examples of the work my Brownies did during our pilot of WAGGGS' Voices Against Violence syllabus. 

Signs of healthy and unhealthy relationships

After my speech, we ran an activity from the Voices syllabus, asking participants to look at a picture they had been given when they arrived and to decide whether it showed a sign of a healthy or unhealthy relationship.  We then heard about Soroptimist International's Live Your Dream campaign and the Take Back the Tech! campaign.  

The event was a massive success – I'm not sure how many people attended, but I was told afterwards that somewhere between 60 and 100 people were turned away because there was no space in the room.  I'm so glad I didn't know that beforehand! 

The biggest thing I was most nervous about on this trip was how I would respond if anyone asked me questions – I always worried that I would stutter and say something stupid. But that didn't happen, and I felt really confident speaking as part of the panel, so that was a huge confidence-boost!  I talked about my amazing Brownie unit so much, I'm sure everyone at the UN is sick of hearing about this small group of young girls in Edinburgh, but I don't care.  Those girls were absolutely the inspiration I needed to keep me going when things got tough.  They also gave me great examples of why non-formal education is ACE!

Some Gender/ Equality MEPs

After this event, I went to an EU NGO meeting with some MEPs and a discussion session with one of the EU Negotiators.  At the first meeting, my challenge was to sit directly opposite the Chair and stare at him until he looked at me, and then not break eye contact.  I'm not entirely sure why I decided this was a good strategy, but it definitely got me noticed, and when it came to question time, my hand was up and I got the first question in. 

The session with the negotiator was really interesting, although I started to get really frustrated because the EU only refers to "violence against women" and doesn't mention girls.  When I asked about this (obviously I got the first question in again!), I was told the EU wouldn't be discussing girls seperately to women because there were existing agreements in place that relate to girls.  And here began the anger!

Some more Equality MEPs

My final session of the day was an EU Side Event (these are events run by member states or the UN) in the UN Headquarters called “Comprehensive Strategies to tackle Domestic Violence”, where six EU ministers spoke. The session was really interesting, but I had noticed that the EU only talks about violence against women and doesn't mention girls at all. I also noticed that they didn't say anything about tackling the root causes of domestic violence, one of which is adolescent dating violence. So I stood up and asked them why. The response was that they only recognise male and female, and not woman/girl or man/boy. They ignored my question about teen dating violence, and we later found out that this was because the EU is doing nothing tackle this issue. I got very angry and spent the rest of the evening being really frustrated! 

Apparently, this is something I'm pretty passionate about!

CSW57 Update: Monday 4th March 2013

Monday 4th March 2013

(Or: how I'm sick of static electricity)

I should probably explain myself.  I'm not sure why, or what it is about me, but literally everything I touch in New York gives me a static shock.  It was funny for about the first 2 hours, but I've now been in New York over a week and have found myself doing some really weird things (like rubbing my feet on the carpet, and doing everything as fast as I can) before opening doors/ climbing into bed/ switching on a light...  I'm starting to think I'm going insane, and anyone watching me will definitely be considering calling the men in white coats.

Anyway, apart from my slightly bizarre behaviour, today has been an incredible mixture of completely amazing and completely overwhelming. 

My day started early, as a few of us headed out to collect our CSW handbooks.  In an attempt to convince myself it wasn't time to get up, I just put on my jeans and a hoody over my pj's.  Note to self - when going out anywhere near the UN, this is NOT a good idea.  You will feel like a complete idiot when you're standing in a lift with delegates and people you should be lobbying, trying to fix the mop of hair you haven't brushed for 3 days (I *really* should find my hairbrush).  After all that, our mission failed anyway - despite it only being 8.15am, the handbooks had already disappeared. 

Finally here and feeling like a delegate!

After a shower and a cup of tea, I headed over to the UN Headquarters to take notes at the first session of the Commission on the Status of Women.  It wasn't until I was standing in the queue for security that I realised this session would be the Opening Session, in the General Assembly!  Most of the sessions would be held in separate conference rooms, so to be able to attend the GA without having to pay for a tour absolutely made up for the fact I'd only had 5 hours sleep! 

I made it into the viewing balcony of the General Assembly with seconds to go before the speeches started.  The session was opened by the Chairwoman, and we heard from the Deputy Secretary General, Michelle Bachelet (she's still wearing our wristband!) and the UN Special Rapporteur on Violence Against Women.  Member states and regional blocks (groups of countries who had formed alliances) were then invited to give their statements and to outline their positions on gender based violence. 

Proof that I really was there!

About half an hour into this session, I had the sudden realisation that I was sitting in the General Assembly at the United Nations Headquarters listening to world leaders and decision-makers speaking about an enormous global issue affecting billions of women and girls.  Thinking back, that seems like a pretty daft realisation, given all of the work I'd done in the run-up to this trip.  But at the time, it didn't feel like such a big thing.  There are no words to describe how immense being in that room felt.  This was the point at which I realised my life was about to change.  I knew at this point that my existing life and career plans were about to go in the bin, and a new plan was being formed.  Pretty overwhelming for 10.30am on a Monday morning!

I spent three hours sitting in the General Assembly, too scared to leave incase I missed something important, and too engrossed in the discussions to realise I was desperate for the toilet (sorry, more toilet chat!).  When I got back to my room, fortunately right next to the HQ, I found myself sitting on the bathroom floor, sobbing into my knees.  This was partly caused by the electric shock(s) I got from my laptop.  But mostly, I think, it was the result of being so tired and completely overwhelmed.

I don't want you to think that I spent my whole week in New York a miserable wreck.  It was quite the opposite infact.  I just want you to know that this trip was NOT a holiday.  It is impossible to describe the intense mixture of emotions we were all feeling during this week.  Even though it was only day 4, we had already put so much effort into getting to this moment, that finally reaching it was like a huge weight had lifted from our shoulders.

A WAGGGS delegate has already been here!

After a few minutes, I gave myself a shake, washed my face, uploaded a picture of the General Assembly onto Facebook, and headed out to my first Parallel Event (these are events run by NGOs in buildings outside the UN Headquarters).  We heard five university students from North Carolina talk about their specific research areas: Domestic Violence, Education and Empowerment; Rape Culture in Society and the Media; Human Trafficking Legislation and Policy; Violence Against Immigrant and Refugee Women; and Engaging Men and Boys.  At our training, we were told about a WAGGGS delegate from the previous year who made it her mission to ask a question at every session she attended.  I thought I'd never be able to do that!  But this morning, something had changed.  So at the end of the presentations, I found my hand sticking up in the air, and all of a sudden there was a microphone in my face.  I felt like I was watching someone else as I stood up, introduced myself and asked a question about non-formal education.  It was almost as if something in my brain had woken up and said "ok, this is it - mission: accepted". 

At the end of the event, I ran back to the hotel to get ready for the Young Women's Caucus (I did a lot of running today!)

The YW Caucus is jointly organised by WAGGGS and the World YWCA, and is a group of young women who meet to focus on policy discussion, advocacy action and networking with decision makers at CSW.  Any young women attending CSW are invited to come along, and at this first session there were about 30 of us!  Unfortunately, I couldn't stay for very long as I had to go to another event, but I believe the first meeting was a success.

Sir Mark Lyall Grant at the UK NGO Reception

My final event of the day was an NGO reception held by the UK's Permanent Mission to the UN.  This was really my big opportunity to lobby decision-makers and to tell the UK about WAGGGS' Calls to Action.  Before going to New York, I had sent a lot of emails to people from the UK who had attended last year's CSW.  I was so glad I had done this as I arrived at the Permanent Mission wearing my formal Girlguiding UK uniform and was instantly recognised as "the girl guide".  I met so many incredible women this evening, by the time I left the Mission, I was absolutely buzzing.  (This has nothing to do with the 2 glasses of wine I had).  I was so inspired and felt so supported by this group of women, and I realised that I could channel the emotion I had felt earlier in the day to help me through the week.

By the time I arrived back at the hotel, I was exhausted, but very excited to catch up with the rest of the team and find out if their day had been as intense as mine.  (They had!)

CSW57 Update: Teen Orientation Day

Sunday 3rd March 2013

(Or: how I shared the same toilet cubicle as Michelle Bachelet)

Teen Orientation day is organised by the Working Group on Girls (WGG), an NGO Committee which works at the UN.  WAGGGS were asked to provide some facilitators to help prepare all of the teen delegates for their CSW57 experience, so I volunteered to help.  The previous Monday I attended a webinar - an online training session - to find out more about the activities we would be running with the participants, so in theory I had had nearly a week to prepare and make sure I knew the plan.  (In reality, I did a Rosy and winged it - and it was GREAT!)

Half of the WAGGGS delegation had volunteered to facilitate, so we arrived at a New York high school early (7.30am!) on this Sunday morning to help set up and to work out where everything was.  I was to be facilitating with a lovely young woman from the Bronx, New York, called Gina.  We hit it off straight away, and it was great to have someone to work with who had such different experiences to my own.

The day started with an introduction by the girl volunteers with WGG who had helped to plan and organise the day.  This was followed by a story about peace which I thought was really beautiful and helped me to put what we were about to do into perspective.  This isn't the exact version we heard, but hopefully you get the picture:

"A dove and a coal mouse are sitting on the branch of a tree, watching the snow fall. The dove asks, “How much does a snowflake weigh?” The coal mouse answers, “Nothing more than nothing.” The two birds watch the snowflakes fall for some time more, until the moment a particular one settles on their branch, breaking their perch. As the dove flies away, it thinks to itself, “Maybe all that’s needed in the world for peace is one more voice.”"

After the opening remarks, we went to our classrooms to meet our groups.  Gina and I were working with a group of about 25 girls aged between 13 and 18 years old.  They came from all over the USA, so it was really interesting to hear their opinions and their experiences.  They were all so willing to share and they were SO engaged in our activities, which really inspired me to try my hardest during the week to make sure their voices were represented and being listened to.

During the morning sessions, we talked about what violence is and started to develop our own definition of violence:

Our definition of Violence

Halfway through the morning, we told the girls they were going to hear an inspirational speaker.  As we headed back to the auditorium I went to the toilet (there is a point to this story - please keep reading!).  I got to the front of the queue and who came out of the next cubicle but Michelle Bachelet - Under-Secretary-General and Executive Director of UN Women!  Needless to say, I was too excited that I was about to use the same toilet cubicle as her to actually put any of our training into practice.  I'm not sure lobbying someone in the queue for the toilet is a good idea anyway.  

Michelle Bachelet

Ms Bachelet (I've got so used to just calling her Michelle, but I feel this early in the week I should still be formal.  Especially after almost embarrassing myself in the toilet queue) gave a really inspiring speech - I can't remember what she talked about now, but I know she really pushed the fact that empowering girls and young women is essential to ending violence against women and girls (VAWG).  Three of our delegates stood up and asked questions, and Kumbukani from Malawi gave her one of our Stop the Violence campaign wristbands.  She also signed a WAGGGS pledge card to say that she will speak out for girls rights!

After lunch, we went back into our groups to talk about Advocacy.  The girls made some incredible posters of things they wanted to tell the UN - I'm going to let them speak for themselves:

 

Our final speaker was Michael Kaufman, founder of the White Ribbon Campaign - the world's largest movement of men and boys working to end violence against women and girls.  The only thing I could think throughout his speech was "WOW"!  This man in incredible!  He told us all about White Ribbon, how it started, what they do, and why men and boys need to be part of the solution.  It felt amazing to know that this battle isn't just being fought by women, and for all the talk of men being perpetrators, there is a huge group of men and boys out there who are on our side.  This really made me think of all the men and boys in my life and how grateful I am that they are so supportive and caring towards the women in their lives.  (I got a bit emotional at this point!)

At the end of the day, we walked back to our hotel.  After such an amazing day, everyone seemed pretty overwhelmed and we were all already exhausted even though it was only the start of the week.